Importance of Interpersonal skills and how to develop it

As stated by, American poet, singer, memoirist, civil rights activist, honored by more than 50 degrees and dozens of awards, Maya Angelou,...

"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

Today, I will talk about something that is very simple but forms primary basis for any relationship. Yes, you get it. Interpersonal skills or people skills or social intelligence. 

What are Interpersonal Skills?

It is simply people skills. How you interact with people, how you connect with people. It is social intelligence. 

Importance of Interpersonal skills 

In our everyday life, we are surrounded by people. At home, at workplace, at parties and functions, at traveling (bus or train or flight), we have to connect with people, we have to talk with people nicely. 

What are the interpersonal skills and How to develop it? 

Some examples of interpersonal skills are : 

1. Leadership 

2. Teamwork 

3. Patience 

4. Discipline 

5. Active Listening 

6. Problem Solving

7. Quick decision making

8. Assertiveness

9. Communication 

10. Confidence 

11. Group- discussion 

12. Body language and the list is never-ending. 

Have you ever observed how these things affect your daily life and so your professional and personal life eventually. 

Suppose you are going to a friend's birthday party. And you meet the strangers. The way you talk, you represent yourself, your attitude, confidence will create the first impression on other's mind. When you are at workplace, the interaction between different people will be different. When you go for an interview at a small or local company or MNCs, soft skills play a significant role. If you are an employer or job seeker, then you can easily relate this truth. Wherever you go, you have to communicate, you have to interact, you have to make connection with people. If you have extraordinary  knowledge of your field, you are the pioneer in your field, but you don't know how to express it, how to represent it, you don't know when, where, how then all in vain. Interpersonal skills or soft skills have an important role  in life. That's why it's important to develop people skills that make you stand out. 

Here are 4 pillars of Interpersonal skills (people skills). By this, you can develop your social intelligence. 

1. Understand yourself and others. 

Yes, this is the first step towards the journey of social intelligence. When you understand yourself very well, there will be no need to be understood by others. Know the fact that every person in the world is different. Everyone's experience is different and so the perception. 

Perception is how you see situations in life. The below Image elaborately explain this thing.

 Everybody has own perspective. Learn to respect other people's opinion, their perspective. 

2. Acceptance

We are living in the world where we have, unlike circumstances. Due to that, we have different experiences and so different thought processes and so different viewpoints. No one is right, neither is wrong. Just accept the way as you are and accept the people as they are. That's something everyone likes. 

According to the theory of great psychiatrist, Eric Berne, there are four possible life positions (how we behave with others with our thoughts). 

• I'm not OK, You're OK. 
• I'm OK, You're not OK.
• I'm not OK, You're not OK.
• I'm OK, You're  OK. 

i) I'm not OK, You're OK. 

These types of people are often underconfident or unconfident and feel powerless. They think they can't change things. But one thing remember my friends, "Be the change that you want to see in the world." 

ii) I'm OK, You're not OK.

These types of people are over-confident. They think they are superior. They are boss. They can't make any mistake. 

iii) I'm not OK, You're not OK.

These types of people are depressed and frustrated. They often have suicidal tendency. They have tired of life's problems and think they are not worth enough. 

iv) I'm OK. You're OK. 

These types of people have OKness with everything. They believe I am a worthy human being and have right to live and meet my needs and others are worthy human beings and have right to live and meet their needs. 

The moral of the story is, Accept yourself as you are and accept the people as they are. 

3. Communication 

Communication means share ideas, thoughts, or information through speaking, writing, or any other medium. It is always a two-way process. Effective communication is a mental picture perceived by the receiver that should be the same as envisioned by the sender. 

Types of Communication :

1. Verbal 

2. Non-verbal 

As stated by Albert Mehrabian, pioneer of understanding communication, 7% of the communication is verbal, 38% is voice tone, and 55% is our body language. That shows how important non-verbal communication is. 

To be a good communicator, 

• Use body language (gesture and posture) and voice tone according to situation. 
• Be a good listener. (hearing means you only know what another person is saying and listening is you understand the thought process and try to gain what he/she is meant). 
• Respect other's opinion as discussed before. 
• Be straight forward on your point. 
• Try to connect with people (Actively be in the moment) 

4. Empathy 

Put yourself in another person's shoes. That sounds weird for a moment. But that's what Empathy is. Yes, our last pillar of interpersonal skills. 

You can't wear shoes of another person until you have worn your own. Same way, you can't understand people until you have your own opinions. Put it aside for a while and try to understand their viewpoint. Then and then you can connect with them. 

Now, you might be thinking that I am a good communicator, I try to connect with people, but what if they don't want or they don't respect my opinion. 

It's okay. If they don't respect that doesn't mean you also won't. Everyone has their opinion as I said. Give your best. Try to connect with them, if they don't want to, then respect their decision. It's not your fault. Don't let their opinion change the way you are. 

Golden Statement - SW SW SW SW (Some will. Some won't. So what, Someone's waiting)

Thanks for the reading. Stay tuned for more updates like this.